Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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