everyone is single if you try hard enough
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
