shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
