i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
