Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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