i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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