What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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