The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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