so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
