Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Randomize
