Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
