He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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