Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Randomize
