I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
