Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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