We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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