I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
