she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
