She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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