i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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