you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
