Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
