i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
