She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
