I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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