I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
