He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
