You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
