I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
