My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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