i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize