Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
