Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
