It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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