just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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