Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
