1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
this beer tastes like vomit already
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize