I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize