she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
