She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
