He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
