He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
