I queefed so loud it echoed.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
