Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
