Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
