There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
