I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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