not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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