is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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