awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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