If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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