Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
