She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
