Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
i need some magic done to my vagina
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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