I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
he quoted the bible to break up with me
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
