Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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