He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
