HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
