Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
the day after is always just damage control
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Randomize
