i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
