You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
