Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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