I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I think I sprained my soul last night
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
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