It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
