just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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