Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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