Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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