i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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