He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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