if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize