You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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