So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
